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Original text:
Hello, I'd like to share my experience regarding an article that requires revision and enhancement. The piece in question was about the impact of technology on modern society.
The original text lacked clarity in conveying its points effectively. It started with a weak introductory paragraph that didn't capture attention or provide insight into what the article would cover. Following this, the body of the article seemed to be fragmented without clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This resulted in an uneven making it hard for readers to follow.
To improve :
I'd recomm starting with a strong introductory paragraph that grabs attention and gives a brief overview of what the impact of technology on modern society entls, including some interesting facts or quotes from experts.
Each subsequent paragraph should clearly outline its focus point, making sure they are logically connected through smooth transitions using linking wordsphrases.
The use of subheadings could be beneficial to break up content and provide a visual guide for the reader about what's coming next in each section.
Including statistics or real-life examples can help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
with a that reiterates key points, leaves an impactful final thought, and may even suggest areas for further research or discussion.
Pay attention to : use active voice wherever possible, keep sentences concise yet informative, avoid unnecessary jargon unless it's necessary.
Proofread carefully before submission to correct any grammar errors or typos.
Improvement of text:
Welcome to where I will delve into the profound effects technology has on our modern society. The beginning of every piece should immediately engage readers, and in this case, I suggest starting with an intriguing statement that highlights some astonishing data about technology's impact. For instance: In a recent report by source, it was revealed that 80 of consumers globally now have a smartphone. This introduction piques curiosity while setting up the context for your article.
Subsequent paragraphs should follow this pattern:
Each paragraph should focus on one mn point about how technology influences society.
Use transitional phrases like Furthermore, On another hand, etc., to guide readers smoothly from one idea to the next.
Incorporate bold or italicized subheadings where appropriate for clarity and visual impact.
To strengthen your argument, include relevant statistics or examples, such as: According to a study by name, this technology has led to an average productivity increase of 20 in industries XYZ.
The concluding paragraph should summarize the key insights without reiterating every point:
Technology continues to transform our world and society. As it continues evolving, the impact on various sectors will undoubtedly grow, necessitating continuous research into its full implications.
Mntn a clear with active verbs whenever feasible:
In recent years, smartphones have become indispensable tools in dly life.
Avoid verbosity or overly complex phrasing that may confuse readers:
to proofread carefully before final submission.
I hope these guidelines will help you refine your article effectively.
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Technology Impact on Modern Society Overview Changes in Productivity with Tech Advances Smartphones Role in Daily Life Transformation Society Evolution Due to Technological Growth Research Needed for Full Implications Understanding Key Insights into Tech Influence on Industries